Does He Really Want to MARRY YOU or Does He Just Want SEX?

Ladies,

There are several ways a man will try to get kitty from you.  

• He will tell you upfront 
• He will take you out on several dates waiting for you to give in 
• If you put him in the friend zone, he'll act like he's okay with it but he's really waiting, hoping that you will eventually give it up                     

AND THEN THERE'S THE GUY THAT LEADS WITH THE 

****RELATIONSHIP CONVERSATION****

What do I mean by this?  This is the guy that thinks that all women want to get married and have kids, so he says key words, hoping that you will believe him and be more than willing to give him some kitty sooner than later all because he "claims" he's ready for a commitment. 

I'm sure we've all run into this guy and actually fell for it a time or two, so as always I'm here to help you look out for the signs on whether a man is truly ready to marry YOU or if he's only saying it just to have sex with you.

When conversing with him, he will usually says things like this: 

• "I'm ready to find the one"
• "I would love to get married one day"
• "I want to have kids one day"
• "You seem like you would make a great wife"
• "I'm ready to be in a committed relationship"
• "I can see marrying you and having kids with you one day"

Have you heard these words from a man within the first few dates and you actually broke down and gave him the kitty and he still has NOT attempted to marry you, let alone have kids with you? 

If he hasn't made the financial plans to purchase a ring, hasn't made an attempt to set a wedding date, hasn't asked to meet your parents, family, or friends, doesn't take you out in public, hasn't introduced you to his family or friends, then chances are - he never had plans on ever marrying you to begin with.  This was all just a ploy just to get some kitty from you!


If he brings it up months into the relationship but a lot of time has passed and he still hasn't followed through with a ring, then chances are he only said it just to keep you around longer but still has NO intentions on marrying you.  


If he says he wants to marry you but gives you NO time frame whatsoever, then you need to give yourself a time frame on how long you're going to stick around AND make sure you stick to it otherwise you get what you ask for!  Remember, a man will only do what you allow him to.  

Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me!

Of course there are always exceptions to the rule 

and some of those would be:

• He really does want to settle down, but enough time has not gone by for him to be able to tell if you'd make a good wife.
• You just don't move him that way.  It may not be anything specific about you, he's just not attracted to you on that level.
• You've acted out in crazy irrational psychotic ways which is making him re-think his decision.
• You're a nag and he can never do anything right.
• Your sexual chemistry doesn't match. i.e. you're not freaky enough or don't like having sex as often as he does.
• You have kids already and they are BAD as hell and when I say BAD, I'm talking bebe kids, out of control BAD, Dennis the Menace BAD, no home training BAD, which tells him you will not make such a great mother to his kids.
• He's brought you around his family/friends and they disapproved of you.
• He brought you around his own kids and you didn't have a clue as to how to communicate with them.
• You can't cook a meal to save your life. (This doesn't apply to all men but the men that do require it, this would be a deal breaker for them)
• You have no ambition and you're lazy.
• Your house is always dirty, I'm not talking cluttered, I'm talking it looks like you haven't picked up a duster or vacuum in your lifetime.
• Your family is ghetto or trailer trash. 
• Your mother is crazy and is driving him crazy because she's constantly around or calling and your dumb ass is letting her control your relationship by telling her all of your business.
• You don't know how to handle your finances and you're in debt up to your ying yang.
• Your ying yang smells like garbage sewer.

I could add more to this list but it would take up my entire day, so hopefully you get the point.

If you have not displayed any of the above behavior and everything has been drama free or maybe there's only been a few bumps along the way, but you have not given him any real reason to re-think being in a relationship with you, then the only reason a man would not take it to the next level after saying that he wants these things is if he only said it just so he could sleep with you!  

Remember ladies, actions speak louder than words.  If he is saying these things, his actions should be lining up with his words by following through.  

***Don't fall for the okie doke!***

Until you actually have a ring on your finger, I would chalk it up to nothing more than words!  It's just like a salesman that's trying to sell you a car and tells you about all the bells and whistles and how wonderful it drives BUT until you actually test drive the car YOURSELF and over TIME you see that everything the salesman said proves to be true, it's nothing more than a SALES PITCH!  

A wise man once told me "Anh, don't entertain conversing with men that say they want to marry you. If he's serious, he will purchase the ring and put it on your hand." Now of course he didn't mean don't ask questions because you need to know where the guys head is, but in essence what he means is the guy can talk about marriage and kids all day and night but until he actually puts that ring on your finger, his words are nothing more than just that - words!  

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Chicken Heads vs. REAL WOMEN

Some people have asked me where the name "CHICKEN HEAD" comes from?  


The urban dictionary defines it as a woman that's bobbing her head in the same motion when giving a man oral sex, but it has picked up new meanings along the way like the words "bitch, the N word, fag, etc"  


MY definition of a chicken head is a female that will fall for anything and say yes to anything because when a chicken clucks its head it goes up and down, never side to side, hence CHICKEN HEAD.  My examples below should prove this theory.


But before we get started, fellas, many of you complain that women make bad choices when it comes to choosing a mate, but you guys are just as GUILTY.  Now it's okay, we've ALL been there and anyone that says otherwise is full of crap.


Some guys get so caught up in looks and infatuation that you'll settle for nonsense or not even pay attention to it because you are in LUST!  You don't even see the red flags slapping you upside your dome! Then later when her representative goes away and her true self comes out, you complain, complain complain, that all women aren't shit and may never allow your heart to open up again which can be very bad for a REAL WOMAN when she walks into your life.


You may miss a blessing all because ONE CHICKEN HEAD screwed you over and you will let that ONE instance dictate the course of your love life, when in actuality, it was partly your fault for not paying attention to the RED FLAGS and to her looks more!  Again, it's okay, don't beat yourself up, we've ALL been there but it's time to stop playing the victim!


Believe it or not, there are some really good women out there but you have to ask yourself, do you pay attention to the red flags or more to her looks?  The only way you can grow is by first being HONEST with yourself, 2nd admitting your fault in it, and 3rd asking yourself what did you learn from those past experiences?  


There are so many CHICKEN HEADS roaming the streets that some men can no longer tell what a REAL WOMAN looks like so if you don't know what the red flags are, I'm here to assist you with that.

Here are my TOP 5 SIGNS to spot a CHICKEN HEAD vs. a REAL WOMAN:


1.  If you see a chick in the club and she's rocking a Louis Vuitton bag, Gucci bag, or any designer bag and her bag costs more than her net worth, but she's waiting on some guy to buy her a drink - that is a CHICKEN HEAD.  A REAL WOMAN doesn't wait on a guy to buy her drink.  A REAL WOMAN "ALWAYS" carries her OWN cash and if she doesn't have any money, she will stay home.  The ONLY exception to this rule is if someone invites her on a date and offers to pay.  Now it's not saying she's too good or too independent to accept a drink.  


In addition, A REAL WOMAN will turn down a free drink from a guy that she's NOT attracted to because she doesn't want him wasting his time or hers, however, A CHICKEN HEAD will say yes to ANY GUY that offers to buy her a drink whether she's interested or NOT.  Your best bet is to approach a woman that already has a drink, start a conversation with her and take it from there.  When she finishes her drink, if she actually ASKS YOU to buy her another one, that's a CLEAR SIGN that she's not just a CHICKEN HEAD, but a THIRSTY one at that!


NO REAL WOMAN would EVER form her lips to ask a man to buy her a drink UNLESS it's her man!  In fact, if the conversation is going well and you take it upon yourself to buy her another drink, if she's REALLY feeling you, A REAL WOMAN will offer to buy the next round.


2.  A FEMALE that seeks out men with money ONLY in hopes that she can retire off of him and is in need of someone to financially take care of her kids is not only a CHICKEN HEAD, but she's a thirsty gold digger too!  There's nothing wrong with a woman wanting stability, but if that's the ONLY thing she's seeking out in a man, then that's what makes her a CHICKEN HEAD.  Some of the signs to look out for are women that go on dates with you, NEVER offer to pick up the tab, NEVER offer to pay half, or NEVER even offer to leave so much as a tip.  A CHICKEN HEAD/GOLD DIGGER is a woman that thinks it's an "insult" if she EVER has to pay.


A REAL WOMAN seeks out a man that will be compatible with her.  Although she wants a man with stability, that's not the ONLY thing she looks for.  If he has no stability yet, she may entertain getting to know him so long as he shows that he can take care of himself at least.  She doesn't need him to pay her bills, rent, etc.  A REAL WOMAN will offer to pay by the 3rd date and if she doesn't offer to pick up the entire tab, she will at least offer to pay half, EVEN IF YOU ARE FILTHY ASS RICH!  It's just the polite thing to do because she is NOT a LEACH!


3.  A FEMALE that introduces you to her kids within the first few dates and is introducing YOU as "THEIR NEW" DADDY is a CHICKEN HEAD.  When it's that bad, there is a level below a chicken head and that's called CHICKEN HEAD GONE BAD! LOL!


A REAL WOMAN will wait months before bringing her kids around you because she puts her kids safety and well being above ALL else.  She takes her time with you because she doesn't know if you're a rapist, child molester, if you even like kids, or if you're willing to take her seriously because she has kids.  She wants to make sure you're in it for the LONG HAUL before she opens her kids up to you.  **The ONLY exception to this rule is if you were introduced to her by a mutual friend that she thinks highly of and knows her friend would probably not introduce her to some scrub OR if you happen to meet her in a setting where her kids were with her i.e. PTA meeting, etc, but even then she will take her time before she brings them around you again.**


4.  If a FEMALE actually entertains a SCRUB (we've all heard the TLC song i.e. the guy hanging out the passenger side of his boys car or the guy that name drops), his boy pulls up in his mama's car and he's hollering at her like she works on Stuart Ave., he might even go as far as saying "HEY HOE?", his ONLY conversation is who he knows and how much money he has and her silly ass will actually talk to him SIMPLY because they're rolling in a BENTLEY.  Her ass is so dumb, she thinks if she gives him the kitty, she'll be able to roll in that BENTLEY with him and be SEEN.  A CHICKEN HEAD is someone who always wants to be seen and uses others to be seen because they have NOTHING going for themselves.  A CHICKEN HEAD is THIRSTY for 15 minutes of fame and will do whatever it takes to get it including sleeping with guys that have big diamond chains because she assumes they must have money.


A REAL WOMAN doesn't care if a man is driving a BENTLEY or NOT!  A car doesn't impress a REAL WOMAN because she knows that it's how a man treats her that matters, NOT what his wheels look like.  A REAL WOMAN actually prefers a man that's not trying to show off his car, house, or money to land her but actually stepping to her by simply being HIMSELF.


5. A CHICKEN HEAD has no or very low self esteem and does not know her own worth so she constantly settles for OTHER WOMEN's MEN.  She has no problem being #2, #3, etc. because she needs another woman's man to validate her existence and boost her self esteem because she has NONE.  She actually thinks that because he's giving her attention that she must be special and in some cases CHICKEN HEADS think they're MORE special than his main woman.  A CHICKEN HEAD will actually wait it out in hopes that he will dump his main woman to be with her.


She will do everything possible to land him acting like she's caring, doesn't nag, she is basically nothing more than a servant to this man.  If he says JUMP, she'll jump.  She has no problem with this and has actually convinced herself that it's okay and she prefers being the other woman.  If a man's not too careful, she may even try to sabotage the condom by puncturing a hole in it, trying to get the semen from it and inserting it in herself just to get pregnant in order to keep this man.  


***Fellas, that's why it's mandatory that you always buy the condoms and keep them in your possession at ALL TIMES.***


She will even go as far as to plant evidence of this so-called relationship (i.e. panties, bras, makeup, receipts, etc.) in his car or somewhere his woman will find it.  If he ever finally decides to dump her, she's the kind of FEMALE that will vandalize his car, stalk him, stalk his woman, call his job all hours of the day and night, try to black male him, etc... all just to keep him!


And don't let him be famous, she'll show up on interviews with Barbara Walters crying that she's the victim and that he promised her he would leave his wife! LOL!  Again, she wants fame so badly, she doesn't care if she makes an ass of herself to get it and she sees nothing wrong with this!


A REAL WOMAN doesn't need a man to validate her existence, however, she's not too independent to realize that she would like to have a man that appreciates her just as much as she appreciates him.  She wants a man that adds to her life, not subtracts.  A REAL WOMAN would NEVER settle for being a NUMBER and would NEVER give a man that's already taken a 2nd look because she knows she's worthy of having her OWN man and doesn't want to disrespect another woman.


A REAL WOMAN will not allow a man to disrespect her in any way, shape, or form.  Anything less than this is just not acceptable for her.  A REAL WOMAN also knows she's not perfect and if she makes a mistake - she will admit to it, apologize sincerely, and take the necessary steps to correct her actions whereas CHICKEN HEADS think they can do no wrong, constantly play the victim and think that it's everyone else's fault their life is in turmoil.


CHICKEN HEADS also have no problem being a baby mama for the rest of their lives so long as the government checks or baby daddy checks keep rolling in.  CHICKEN HEADS will take that money and buy themselves a bag before they'll even feed their own child.


Some other signs of chicken heads that didn't make it to the TOP 5.

• A CHICKEN HEAD will sleep with the photographer from the club simply because he carries a camera. Again, she wants her 15 minutes of fame and will do whatever it takes to get it! 
• CHICKEN HEAD's will steal from their own friends and family just so they can buy the newest GUCCI bag!  
• CHICKEN HEADS also have no plans for a career, they go around telling people they're a model knowing FULL and WELL the ONLY modeling they've ever done was with their own cell phone! 
• CHICKEN HEADS have no idea what it takes to be a REAL WOMAN so they tell  people they are taking real estate classes but the only real estate classes they've ever taken are the imaginary ones.  
• CHICKEN HEADS try to get in everyone's VIP section, invite all of their CHICKEN HEAD girlfriends and drink up all the liquor then bounce when the liquors gone without even saying thank you!
• When asked on a date, a CHICKEN HEAD will invite all of her CHICKEN HEAD girls on the date too without saying a word, then 'expect' the guy to pay for all of their CHICKEN HEAD asses.  
• A CHICKEN HEAD will go on a trip with a guy then try to get with another guy while on a trip that may have more money or fame and will even leave him to be with the other guy if the other guy is willing to take her.
• A CHICKEN HEAD will eyeball another man in your presence EVEN if this other man has a woman in his presence.  Again, she has no self esteem so any attention is good attention to her.
• A CHICKEN HEAD doesn't dress appropriately for the occasion.  She will show up at a classy soiree in her stripper outfit and wonder why people are so-called hating on her LOL.
• A CHICKEN HEAD will put all her bills in her kids names.
• A CHICKEN HEAD will try to have as many kids as possible because that's how she keeps an income.
• A CHICKEN HEAD will lie on her kids and not even claim them, she will say her daughter is really her sister and her son is really her brother. 
• A CHICKEN HEAD gets loud in classy environments and thinks nothing is wrong with it because she doesn't think she's loud.
• A CHICKEN HEAD will keep applying for unemployment even when it has expired because she's too lazy to get a job.

I COULD ADD MORE, BUT IT WOULD TAKE ME ALL DAY!  I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT, PLEASE COMMENT WITH YOUR THOUGHTS AND IF I'VE MISSED SOMETHING, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ADD IT TO THE LIST.


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